Welcome To The Wonderful World Of Spornosexuality

Remember in the early 2000s when metrosexuality was everybody’s favorite buzzword? If you need a refresher, a metrosexual “is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis — because that’s where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference,” according to English journalist Mark Simpson who coined the term.

Essentially, a metrosexual is a dude who’s into vanity (I always just think of Ryan Seacrest at a nail salon as a prime example). That hardly sounds mindblowing today, but it was apparently a pretty big deal 20 years ago when the label first came to be. On top of bringing the very word into existence, Simpson also ventured that metrosexuality was “the most promising consumer market of the decade” back in the ’90s. He makes it pretty clear that he sees the shift to a heavier male focus on grooming as something of an awakening among the straight male population after centuries of being discouraged from caring about their looks in the way or admitting to wanting to feel desired in the that women and gay men do.

Now, Simpson has introduced us to the spornosexual (a word so funny-sounding I can barely type it with a straight face). The spornosexual is a guy who takes metrosexuality from a focus on wearing nice clothes to a focus on having a kick-ass body. These men spent their younger days inspired by metrosexual heroes like David Beckham, and now they spend their time at the gym chiseling their abs and sweating their way to sexiness.

Instead of being motivated by Hollywood and magazines like early metrosexuality, spornosexuals are apparently inspired by the exhibition of social media and hot bodies they see in porn. Simpson implies it’s rooted in a desire to be objectified, which I find to be a pretty strong assumption. I really don’t think we need a trendy new term to describe a dude who works out, but I also don’t hate that this subject showing up in the media gives me an excuse to stare at muscle-y dudes. I can’t really imagine this sporno business taking off, but that’s probably what everyone said when metrosexuality first introduced in 1994, so who knows. That said, there’s no trend more aesthetically pleasing for our Instagram feeds than this one, so I’m going to call it a reason to celebrate. Bring on the fitbros, please.