Real music fans know that not just any song can be crowned Song of the Summer. A Song of the Summer will make you want to day drink. It will get you dancing even when played over the crappy sound system at a street fair. It thinks that crop top was a great idea. So, no matter where you plan to “summer” this summer, be prepared and read our 2014 song of summer challenge first!
Song: “Come Get It Bae” by Pharrell Williams
Most Summery Lyric: “I can do anything you need / And I got a better body than the magazines you read”
Song of the Summer Potential: Pharrell has survived the polar vortexes of winter and emerged with overblown summer confidence. The next line might as well be “let’s leave for the beach at 8 AM tomorrow and beat traffic.” Not happening, but still nice to hear.
Best Time to Listen This Summer: While bikini shopping.
Song: “Chandelier” by Sia
Most Summery Lyric: “Party girls don’t get hurt”
Song of the Summer Potential: This song starts off like a fun summer anthem but soon lures us into a scary place where Sia is swinging from a chandelier, crying. Two party girls will get hurt if you count the one that has to spend all night in the emergency room with Sia when that thing falls. Not a very summery attitude.
Best Time to Listen: Monday night of Labor Day Weekend
Song: “Lemonade” by Danity Kane
Most Summery Lyric: “I’m rockin my sunnies / to block all this shade”
Song of the Summer Potential: As crime rates increase in summer, so do instances of shade between friends. Danity Kane chronicles the experience in this banger while enticing girls worldwide to work “sunnies” naturally into conversation. “Babe, careful not to sit on my sunnies!” Shade, indeed.
Best Time to Listen: While dividing the costs of your beach share.
Song: “Summer” by Calvin Harris
Most Summery Lyric: “You act so innocent now / but you lied so soon / when I met you in the summer”
Song of the Summer Potential: This song about a summer fling loses points for lobbying too hard in the title. The story of a brief romance built on lies, however, couldn’t ring more true. The whole story probably takes place at camp and one of the parties lied about having a significant other back home. Either that or some girl is pretending to date Harris to hang out in his beach house, for which, can you really blame her? He definitely seems like the type to always have fruit lying around in a big wooden bowl.
Best Time to Listen This Summer: Boarding a boat, dressed in all white.
Song: “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith
Most Summery Lyric: “Guess it’s true / I’m not good at a one-night stand / but I still need love”
Song of the Summer Potential: None. Get it together, Smith. Grab a bowl of mashed potatoes and settle in for a night under the comforter, wondering if you should apply to grad school, because you are having a winter moment.
Best Time to Listen This Summer: If the only lemonade flavor left is fennel.
Song: “Turn Down For What” by DJ Snake and Lil Jon
Most Summery Lyric: “Turn down for what”
Song of the Summer Potential: You get out of work a bit early on a sunny Wednesday afternoon. Let yourself get talked into happy hour. Your boss buys you a margarita, then a Jager bomb, finally a tequila shot. You look around the table and realize you have to wake up at seven tomorrow. You try to Irish Exit, but Lana from Accounts Payable catches you and yells the catchphrase she’s tacked onto every Instagram photo of the summer, “Turn down for what?”
Best Place to Escape It This Summer: Impossible. Congratulations to our Song of the Summer 2014!
[Image of a retro radio via Shutterstock]