Over the weekend, a friend of mine was telling me that she was headed out to run some errands recently when her husband chimed in, “Hey, I think I’ll come with you.” Normally very open to any help she can get while grocery shopping, my friend was shocked when instead of replying, “Sure!”, she found herself giving her husband a long list of logical reasons why he should stay home. “And then it hit me,” she said, “I was really looking forward to being by myself that day — listening to my music in the car, zoning out at the store, taking my time. I just didn’t know how to say, ‘I really want to be alone right now’ so I made up all these excuses instead.”
As weird as it might sound, I knew exactly how she felt. When you’re in a serious relationship, spending time together and getting enough quality alone time is a constant balancing act. It can be tough to ask for alone time when you need it, but sometimes it’s even tougher to figure out when you need alone time, period. Here are a few signs that you might need to schedule a solo day, ASAP…
1. The way your partner breathes is starting to get on your nerves.
2. You’re snappy and irritable for no discernible reason.
3. You haven’t seen any of your non-couple friends in over a month.
4. You’re actually looking forward to your commute because you will get to zone out and listen to your iPod.
5. When your partner invites you out with their friends, you say you’re not feeling well, which is code for, “I want you to leave so I can watch a Bravo marathon by myself.”
6. You’re not really interested in having sex, but damn could you masturbate right now.
7. Your partner has been talking for 10 minutes and you haven’t listened to a word they’ve said.
8. You find yourself dawdling in the bathroom just so you can be alone.
9. When your partner asks “how can I soothe you?” after a bad day, your first instinct is to say, “How about STFU?”
10. You are regularly fantasizing about checking into a monastery for a few days.
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