Beauty Test Drive: Coast To Coast Coastal Ultra Gentle Eye Makeup Remover

I have incredibly sensitive skin, so when it comes to my makeup remover, I rarely stray from my go-to: Clinique’s Take The Day Off Makeup Remover For Lids, Lashes & Lips. But on the day I was scheduled to step into The Frisky studio to test drive Topshop’s Smoky Eye Palette (see it here!), I forgot my beloved makeup remover and found myself panicking. “No fear!” said Jessica. “We just got some new makeup remover you can test drive!” And so I grabbed the Coast To Coast Coastal Ultra Gentle Eye Makeup Remover with wild rosella and calendula and went on my merry way. Note: I did not stay merry for long.

Price: $24.99, Ulta

Application: The front of the makeup remover box reads: “This ultra soothing eye makeup remover daringly dissolves grime & stubborn makeup.” I liked that it said gentle. Moving on to the back of the box, some key phrases read: “Mild enough to be used every day,” “ultra soothing gentle eye makeup remover,” and “daringly dissolves grime and stubborn makeup around the delicate eye area without harsh rubbing that can stress the fragile eye.” It seemed to me that this product might actually be okay for my fragile eyes.

I took the lid off of the bottle and put a glob of the white, lotion-like substance onto a cotton swab, which I proceeded to gently sweep over my closed eyelid. Within seconds, my eyeball was burning like a mofo. I continued to wipe the lotion across the eyelid, and while it was doing a fine job removing the mascara and eyeshadow I’d just applied, that didn’t matter because I was CRYING. I don’t even know what the hell Wild Rosella and Calendula are, but I can tell you they fucking BURN when they get into your eye. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I was in immense amounts of physical pain, even after I ran to the bathroom and splashed water in my eye. The burning continued for at least another 10 minutes and my eyeball AND eyelid became bright red, which lasted for another half hour.

Results: I admit that I may have put too much makeup remover on the swab in the first place, which is probably how it snuck past my lid, but as far as I’m concerned, no makeup remover or product intended for the eyes— especially one that claims to be “ultra soothing” and “mild”— should make you feel like you squirted sriracha sauce up in there. It’s not like I poured the bottle directly into my eye… only a little bit of the lotion snuck in. Needless to say, I did not use this makeup remover on my other eye, nor will I ever put it near my precious baby blues again.

Use this product if you care only about removing your makeup and not at all about the wellbeing of your eyeballs. Other recommended products for these people include: gasoline, Sweet Baby Ray’s barbecue sauce, hydrogen peroxide and dirty martinis. JUST KIDDING, DON’T DO THAT.

Score: 1/5 (Only because the product, combined with human tears, was successful in removing my makeup.)