“The Bachelorette” Superlatives: Two Reasons I Had To Turn Off Last Night’s Episode

Every season, I dutifully sit through each needlessly long episode (two hours! why?!) of “The Bachelor” or “Bachelorette,” delighting in the ridiculousness of the various dates and awkwardness of the forced romantic interactions. But I hit a wall pretty early into last night’s episode and had to turn it off. Why? Well, I’ll let these two “Bachelorette” superlatives explain why…

GROSSEST EXAMPLE OF CHARITY BEING USED AS AN EXCUSE TO PRESSURE PEOPLE INTO CROSSING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES: The Male Stripper Group Date

These “strong arm people into crossing intimate boundaries for charity” group dates are becoming a trend on this show and I don’t like it. Last season, Andi was basically badgered into posing naked for a calendar on a group date with Juan Pablo, and this season, she participated in that same bullshit by taking the guys on a group date in which they had to strip and gyrate “for charity.” I’m not one to jump on the reverse sexism bandwagon, but y’all, if this had been “The Bachelor” and a bunch of women were taken on a group date to fucking Flashdancers and had to work the pole — FOR CHARITY OR NOT — we would be like, “DA FUCK, ABC?!” So, let me be clear: my response to this particular group date — nay challenge, as not participating makes it very likely you won’t get a rose — is also DA FUCK, ABC?

At this point, I turned the show off, because it was depressing and frustrating me. But here’s where things stand after the rose ceremony:

Roses: Eric, Marcus, Chris, Ron, Dylan, JJ, Marquel, Andrew, Tasos, Josh, Cody, Nick V., Patrick, Brian, Brett and Bradley.

Eliminated: Craig, Carl and Nick S.