Told you I wasn’t done posting about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s wedding! (As much as I thought I wasn’t going to want to, writing about Kimye is actually a lovely reprieve from certain other depressing subjects that I’ve been otherwise engrossed in.)
So! Here’s what we know: Kim wore a custom Givenchy dress for the ceremony and this is the only photo we’ve got of it so far, since the official photos have apparently been exclusively granted to Vogue. (Kanye and daughter North also wore custom Givenchy.) Andrea Bocelli sang Kim down the aisle, John Legend sang that song “All Of Me” at some point, and the couple’s first dance was to Etta James’ “At Last” and Otis Redding’s “These Arms Of Mine” and “Tenderness.” Long first dance, guys. Anyway, then Kanye grabbed the mic and rapped a bit because of course.
“[The media] feel like it’s okay to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in an SNL spoof … We don’t negotiate. We’re not like that. We’re not stupid … The Kardashians are an industry! … We are warriors! There is not one person at this table that has not had to defend us at some point or another. … At this [other wedding guest] table…the combination of powers…can make the world a better place. [These are] the most remarkable people of our time. … [Kim is the] ideal celebrity … the ideal art, [and I can't wait to be] spending every single day of [my] life with Kim.”
Shoutout to the media! It’s like we were invited, sort of.
The wedding was not without family drama. According to TMZ, Rob Kardashian left Italy before the wedding because of some fight, but they have no details on what it was about. I just watched some “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” yesterday and Kris is always badgering Rob about his weight, so, here’s my totally made-up theory: What if Rob found out he was getting a special low-carb, low-fat meal while everyone else indulged in “homemade mezzelune pasta stuffed with ricotta cheese,” “monkfish fillet in a crust of aromatic herbs on a bed of puréed celeriac mille feuille of trope sweet onions and vitelotte potatoes,” and “strawberry sorbet,” and he was all, “FUCK THIS.” For the record, #TeamRob.
Lastly, there was a photobooth at the reception, which gave all the celebs in attendance the opportunity to brag on Instagram. It appears Jaden Smith wore a white Batman suit. I don’t get it. Click through to see them all.