“The Bachelorette” Superlatives: The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night’s Premiere

Amelia McDonell-Parry | May 20, 2014 - 12:30 pm

Woohoo! “The Bachelorette” is back! Andi Dorfman, last season’s tough talking DA who told Juan Pablo where to stick it, is basically this show’s ideal star. She’s pretty, she’s feisty and, most of all, she is desperate to find love and be engaged at the end. Unfortunately for her, the casting directors phoned it the fuck in this season, as over half of the dude contestants gave me MAJOR gay vibes and many of them are just straight up unattractive. Like, I’m pretty horny these days, and I would still need beer goggles to bring 95 percent of these dudebros home. If I was her, I would ask for a do over. Alas, the cards have been dealt and Chris Harrison has uttered those infamous words, “Let the journey begin!” Here’s this week’s recap — presented in superlatives!

BIGGEST LITTLE BITCH: Josh B. Gets Eliminated, Acts Like A Brat About It

Hey, Josh B? You were one of a handful of dudes who got sent home. If you just walked away and gave a pleasant exit interview, no one would remember you, let alone think your short-lived appearance on “The Bachelorette” was something to be embarrassed about. But acting like a dick about it, bitching about how humiliating and lame it all is? That made you memorable — and not in a good way. Way to go!


First Impression Rose: Nick V.

Eliminated: Josh B., Rudie, Emil/Anal, plus Mike, Steven and Jason (the Fabios).