Great Idea, Chipotle: 8 Other Places That Customers Could Use Some Reading Material

As we mentioned earlier today, Chipotle had the genius idea to feature short selections of original literature on their various food surfaces, like cups, takeout bags, etc. Not only does this help keep customers entertained while they’re dining, but it prevents the awkward eating-alone scenario from being so awkward, and it’s educational.  After I heard this news, I asked myself for about two hours why I never thought of it, because it’s such a glaringly obvious fix to a common human problem. Oh well. That ship has sailed, but here are eight other obvious places humans could really use some reading material. Let’s make it happen…

1. Bathroom Stalls: It goes without saying that everyone needs some good reading material in there. Besides, then you won’t give away your case of the trots by carrying a magazine with you to the loo.

2. Subway Walls: Anything to help us avoid awkward eye contact.

3. The Starbucks Line: If I’m in such dire need of caffeine that I will wait on a 4-mile long Starbucks line, I better be entertained en route or my ass will doze off.

4. Inside Elevators: Nothing is worse than having to make small talk with strangers (or people you just don’t like) in elevators. If we could read some up-and-coming author’s passages instead, that would be lovely.

5. The Fast-Food Drive Thru: There’s no thinking in the line at the drive-thru. You damn well know what you want before you get there. Every time you inch closer to the window, you can read another passage of a short story that ends with a satisfied, well-fed protagonist.

6. The Ceiling At The Dentist: Nothing distracts you from having a drill in your mouth quite like a collection of quirky Shel Silverstein poems all over the ceiling. And how much more fun would that be with laughing gas, am I right?!

7. The Deli Counter: Pick a number and enjoy this Haiku while you wait for 10 other people to order a pound of Boar’s Head Honey Ham.

8. Mall Benches: Dads, boyfriends and husbands everywhere will thank you.