A Few More Guesses About The Jay Z/Beyonce/Solange Feud From A Total Outsider
The Knowles/Carter family finally released a statement about the elevator fight between Jay Z and Solange seen ’round the world. They provided no explanation other than something boring about all families having problems. While we wait on CNN to uncover the truth, we turned to our own resources. This definitive list of guesses about what was said inside that elevator was compiled by a close personal friend* of the Knowles/Carter family.
Solange: So, are you guys going to play “Drunk In Love” on repeat in the room again tonight?
Jay Z: We be all night.
Jay Z: To be honest, I didn’t mind the ending of “How I Met Your Mother.”
Jay Z: Instagram isn’t a competition. But if it was, we all know there are winners and losers inside this elevator.
Jay Z: Pizza.
Beyonce: I haven’t even started Middlemarch.
Jay Z: Why don’t we just give up on family book club already?
Jay Z: We only have two courtside Nets seats. One. Two. One seat for each Grammy winner in the family.
Jay Z: Blue’s first album should be ready to be released in the fall.
Solange: I’m using the bathroom first when we get up there.
Jay Z: No, I am.
Solange: I called it.
Beyonce: Idiots. I go first.
Jay Z: Have I ever told you the story of how Beats by Dre were my idea?
Jay Z: I have that song from “Frozen” stuck in my head. “Let it goooo, UH —
Beyonce: Solange, you can be my plus one for the Kim/Kanye wedding. Jay is going to be recording that weekend. I heard they might take all the guests to Paris?
Jay Z: I rescheduled my recording session actually. Au revoir Solange!
Solange: I had my first kickboxing class today!
Beyonce: Kickboxing is so boring.
Jay Z: Learn any cool moves?
*Someone who went to the same Nets game as Jay Z and Beyonce one time.