By The Numbers: Bachelorette Parties

Strip clubs, pole dancing, penis hats, comedy shows, bar crawls, wine nights, weekend getaways! Bachelorette parties are both a money and time suck that sometimes has us feeling like basic bitches and other times make us feel like we never want to hang out with guys again. In honor of that special time of year when no one has any spending money because it is all going to our friends’ nuptials, let’s take look at this gnarly and confusing phenomenon by the numbers:

85: Dollars for admission and a lap dance at male strip club chain, Hunk-O-Mania

58: Dollars for lace and mesh teddy from Victoria’s Secret

300: Dollars for pole or belly dancing class for party of nine at Exotic Curves Pole Fitness Studio

24.31: Average hourly wage in America, in dollars

1: Times we saw a male stripper with a fake penis stuffed in his thong

1: Times we hit on a male stripper before realizing he was gay

3: Percentage of brides who want a stripper at their party

80: Percentage of bridesmaids who demand a stripper named Antonio Amore dance to GInuwine’s “Pony” at their friend’s party

5: Number of tiny penises on this bride-to-be penis crown

5.1: Inches of average erect penis

21: Inches you should stay away from the bachelorette if you don’t want to get puked on

3: Number of times we have used the penis crown to hold back the puking bachelorette’s hair

1 billion: Internet articles about how annoyed gay guys are when bachelorette parties crawl through gay bars

4.5: Average number of bridesmaids

2000: Dollars in therapy for being considered half a bridesmaid

1: Average number of rogue bridesmaids

72: Percentage of bachelorettes who receive sex toys as a gift

12: Percentage of bachelorettes who have sex toys chucked at their heads by angry comedians who don’t know how to deal with a table full of women

18-2120: Pantone identification number for hot pink (aka “honeysuckle”)

2: Pieces of sex advice from aunts or mothers that turn out to be spot on

1.2: Percentage of men who admitted to a one-night stand on their bachelor party night

2.6: Percentage of women who admitted to a one-night stand on their bachelorette party night

.85: Percentage of women who admitted to drunkenly making out with a nightstand

10: Number of penis straws an average person can fit in their mouth

11: Number of penis straws our boyfriend fit into his mouths that one time we caught him trying

12: Beverage percent alcohol for optimal longevity and enjoyment by everyone at the party

0: Things that happen at a bachelorette party that should stay at a bachelorette party

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