“Magic Mike XXL” – yes, we choose to embrace this pun – will officially be arriving in theaters on July 3, 2015, leaving us over a year to fantasize about it. Here’s how to spend the 15 long months between now and the next time we see Channing Tatum’s … adapted screenplay.
MAY 2014: Class it up and watch the movie straight through without skipping to the dance scenes for once.
JUNE 2014: Develop your own version of the dance scene where Channing Tatum just hangs from the ceiling and spins with a fan and some reinforced twine.
JULY 2014: Embrace glitter as an accessory.
AUGUST 2014: Take GroupOn up on its 30th offer of a reduced pole dancing class.
SEPTEMBER 2014: It’s perfect assless chaps weather! Comparison shop online. Or watch the movie again and screengrab the butts.
OCTOBER 2014: None of your friends want to dress up? Invoke the dudes of “Magic Mmike” and use their love for the themewear classics like construction worker, jungle, military, red/white/blue, and cowboy as inspiration.
NOVEMBER 2014: Finish picking the glitter out of your hair.
DECEMBER 2014: Have a glass of wine and reflect on what you’ve accomplished this year with a rewatch of “Magic Mike” followed by Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar speech. Maybe have two glasses.
JANUARY 2015: Snuggle up to a Strippers With Hearts of Gold Movie Marathon featuring “Showgirls,” “Flashdance,” and “Closer.”
FEBRUARY 2015: If you’re single, watch “Step Up” and revisit the place where Channing Tatum and wife Jenna Dewan met and fell in love. If you’re in a relationship, watch any of the “Step Up” sequels 2 though 5 instead. You deserve it.
MARCH 2015: Happy spring! Rock a sleeveless vest.
APRIL 2015: To truly enjoy on-screen washboard abs, you’ll need to at least be a member of a gym. Find the cheapest local option and sign up.
MAY 2015: Let’s all just hope “True Detective” season one is out by now.
JUNE 2015: Go to the docks. Find a boat – doesn’t matter what kind. You live on a sandbar this month.
JULY 2015: Buy tickets online in advance, then throw out all your shirts to celebrate.