RIP Society: If He Likes It, He Should Put A Ring On It — But Get A Hand Lift First!

Hey girl, are sure you’re ready for your boyfriend to propose? More specifically, is your hand ready for him to a put a big ol’ expensive rock on it? According to ELLEhand lifts — yes, face lifts for your handddddsssssss – are becoming increasingly popular with brides-to-be concerned that unsightly loose skin and wrinkles are distracting from their pretty baubles. Seriously, guys? I can’t.

Once upon a time, I got engaged and I suddenly had a big ol’ rock on my finger. I will admit that wearing such a beautiful piece of jewelry every day — a ring that didn’t turn my finger green and wasn’t purchased at Urban Outfitters or Forever 21 — did make me feel inclined to get more regular manicures. It just looked better with nicely shaped and freshly painted talons instead of chipped polish, straggly cuticles and dirt under my nails. But upping the frequency of my nail salons visits was a personal choice, not a requirement, and really ultimately silly and totally unnecessary. But a HAND LIFT?! Come. On.

Dr. Ariel Ostad told ELLE that he’s seen 40 percent increase in the procedure, which involves injecting a filler into the hands to smooth out the wrinkles, since the rise of social media. As anyone who spends any time on Instagram knows, ladies love posting photos of their freshly done nails. The longevity of a digital pic on the internet has definitely made it a heck of a lot easier to hate our bodies and compare them to others, so I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that our hands are not immune, especially when you factor in the additional pressure brides face to be extra extra perfect for the big day. A patient of Ostad’s said, “I always thought my hands were a little boyish growing up, so I thought why not, engagement photos are coming up in about a month.” I’ll tell you why not — if you’re that concerned about how your hands look in your dumb engagement photos that no one really cares about, ask the photographer to Photoshop that shit.

For the record, a hand lift costs around $1200 and lasts about nine months — coincidentally, as long as my engagement. Sure glad I didn’t waste my money on such stupidity. [ELLE]