Theory: George Clooney Is Going To Announce He’s Running For Office

What’s more cynical than suggesting George Clooney got engaged to Amal Alamuddin because he either knocked her up or is trying to do preemptive damage control on an incoming gay scandal? My new theory that Clooney is giving up his dedication to the bachelor life to marry the accomplished lawyer — someone “on his level,” finally! — because he’s going to announce a run for political office. HEAR ME OUT.

Rumors that Clooney has his eye on Washington have swirled for awhile now and the actor is certainly one of the more politically vocal celebs in Hollywood. His views on social and economic issues aren’t particularly radical or outside the status quo and he’s been rewarded with a certain level of insider status, serving as one of the United Nations Messengers of Peace since 2008. As an Oscar-winning actor and accomplished director, he’s pretty much peaked in his chosen career. Perhaps it’s time for a second?

But single playboys generally don’t appeal to our American view of “family values” and a married politician’s spouse is open to nearly as much scrutiny as the candidate themselves. The women Clooney has long dated — among them, former WWE diva Stacy Kiebler, Italian actress and showgirl Elisabetta Canalis, and cocktail waitress Sarah Larson — probably wouldn’t have passed muster. But his new fiancee Amal Alamuddin, a big time international lawyer who has represented Wikileaks’ Julian Assange, amongst other people? Now she’s First Wife material.

At first it seemed ridiculous that a “source” (aka Clooney’s rep, until changed the attribution) would describe Alamuddin as being “on his level” because she’s not an up-and-coming actress, given that Clooney makes his living as an actor. But maybe what they meant was that Alamuddin is on FUTURE POLITICAL CANDIDATE George Clooney’s level, making her the ideal candidate herself for the role of his Mrs. I obviously have no proof, just a gut instinct that there’s more to this engagement beyond just true love, but if there’s anything more cynical than me, it’s politics.