George Clooney Is Engaged To Amal Alamuddin

Hell hath frozen over. George Clooney, who has said over and over again that he likes being a bachelor, is allegedly engaged to Amal Alamuddin, the British attorney he’s been dating since October 2013. I say “allegedly” because George himself has yet to confirm the news, but People magazine is reporting it via “a source with knowledge of the situation” which basically means someone on George’s team who wants to make it seem like this news is accidentally leaking. (Seriously, a lot of the time magazine “sources” are actually just PR people wanting to remain anonymous for, duh, PR purposes. Anyhoo.) Also, Alamuddin was spotted wearing a fat ring on her engagement finger.

As for who she is? Well, while not much is known about Alamuddin, rest assured, she’s “on his level.” In last night’s version of the article, Clooney’s rep was quoted as saying, “He’s with someone who is a very accomplished attorney. She isn’t someone who is pursuing a career in acting or entertainment. She’s on his level.” This morning I see that quote is being attributed to yet another “anonymous” source. Maybe People got it wrong the first time, or Clooney’s rep realized that quote made him and his client look like total d-bags and demanded the attribution be removed. Regardless, this cracks me up. Actresses are beneath George Clooney now? Did he run off and get a Ph.D. or get elected to office or something else I’m not aware of?

Anyway, maybe the media cultivated the perma-bachelor image for Clooney more than he did for himself, but given his history of dating almost exclusively up-and-coming actresses, this engagement seems sudden and oddly, I dunno, calculated. My first thought was that Alamuddin was pregnant. My second thought was that there’s some incoming gay scandal and Clooney is trying to do preemptive damage control. My third thought was that I am a terrible cynic who has lost touch with the notion of true love and I should probably call my therapist. Sigh. Mazel tov, George and Amal! [People]

[Photos: Splash News]