So … This Is Avril Lavigne’s New Music Video

Avril Lavigne Hello Kitty Music Video
Oh no. No. No no no no.

Here is the recipe for Avril Lavigne’s music video for her new single, “Hello Kitty”:

  • 10 heaping scoops of Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku appropriation phase
  • 3 cups Skrillex hair
  • 2 cups assorted Skrillex noises (OK to sub generic brand “Scrillecks” here)
  • 1.5 cups “Wait, isn’t Avril Lavigne my age? Why is this making me feel so old? Why is this song so loud? Why is she still singing about slumber parties?”
  • 5 tablespoons PROBLEMATIC
  • 2 tablespoons of that time you had a Skittles-eating contest with your brother and vomited rainbow-colored bile.
  • A pinch of the most awkward sushi restaurant scene since you saw a white guy bow to the chef at a conveyer belt sushi restaurant in a suburban strip mall in Utah.
  • Crumble “SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WTF” over the top and bake until crisp.

Yeeeepppp, that just about sums it up. Avril, you know I always want to have your back, but not this time. I’m going to go take two aspirin and lie down for awhile.

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