Justin Jedlica, also known as the Human Ken Doll, has a problem with Human Barbie Valeria Lukyanova, who he calls his “arch-nemesis.”
I’m getting a crazy flashback to that time when I was six and made my Barbie kick Ken out of the Dream House.
Jedlica and Lukyanova have met in the past, and Jedlica recently told GQ:
“She’s a cute girl…I don’t really get her. I don’t get why people think she’s so interesting. She has extensions. She wears stage makeup. She’s an illusionist…Unlike me, who has spent nearly $150,000 permanently transforming myself into a human Ken doll, Valeria just plays dress up. But as soon as you wipe away all that makeup, she’s just a plain Jane and there’s absolutely nothing special about her.”
Apparently, there’s a hierarchy within the doll poseur community, and actual plastic surgery trumps “illusions.” Human Barbie claims her breasts are the only part of her body that is not natural (girl please), whereas Human Ken has had over 100 surgeries to physically become the Mattel doll. I guess he’s decided he deserves a medal for extra dedication. I don’t really know why that warrants totally trashing one of the strange, strange people most like him in the world, but haters will hate I guess. Human Ken also had some extra terrifying news to share:
“I’m working with a silicone-fabrication company to do an artistic muscle-augmentation-implant line. So all the implants I’m paying custom for myself right now, like my shoulders, my quads, my abs, the lats…they’ll hopefully be available to plastic surgeons.”
Enabling people to buy Ken body parts en masse? So creepy.
Are you Team Human Barbie or Team Human Ken? And do you also feel like you’re hallucinating when you see your childhood toys bickering in the news?