That Doesn’t Go There: Woman Steals Rolex Watch And Hides It In Her Vagina

It was only a matter of time before authorities found Kenneth Herold’s missing Rolex … in his masseuse’s vagina. Lady parts were not designed to be used as storage lockers, yet that hasn’t stopped countless women from stashing valuables in their front hole. Christina Lafave was one of those women. 

After meeting 66-year-old Herold at the bar at Las Vegas’ Wynn Hotel this past January, 25-year-old Lafave offered to give him a private massage for $300. A few hours later, Herold called hotel security to report that his $35,000 Rolex had disappeared.

Police searched Lafave’s room, but couldn’t find the missing watch. Why? Oh, because she hid it very well. Eventually, she got tired of being in a constant state of kegel and admitted that she’d stolen the watch and that she’d stashed it half past cervix.

She had to be taken to the University Medical Center to have the Rolex removed. Lafave was promptly charged with grand larceny and possession of stolen property. But her lawyer argues that she is not a thief, and that the watch was a tip of sorts.

“We believe [Herold] gave her the watch and later he tried to take it back when he wasn’t satisfied with her services. Like any person who works in these hotels, she believed she was going to be compensated for her massage,” her lawyer explained.

Well, that makes perfect sense. [Gawker]