Dearest Abel Arnett and Shiloh Jolie Pitt,
It breaks my heart, but after three and seven years, respectively, of considering you my favorite children born to famous parents, I have decided that I will no longer be posting paparazzi photos of you or any other child who is famous by extension child on The Frisky. After much thought, it has become clear to me that it is no longer okay for me to declare how much your adorable faces make my ovaries ache on a public platform, illustrated with photos taken by often aggressive paparazzi photographers. While your famous parents have signed up for this aspect of fame — or at least knew it was part of the fame they pursued in their career — you did not and you have the right to experience as much privacy as possible during these formative years. If I can do my part to aid in that, by biting down on a rag and shaking my fists at the heavens rather than posting a photo of you, Abel, in a pumpkin patch, or you, Shiloh, yielding a sword in the direction of one of your many brothers and sisters, then so be it.
But at least allow me to say goodbye.
Please know, Abel, that even though I will no longer be making a public spectacle of how much I wish to kidnap you, I still desire to do so in my heart.
Shiloh, every May 27, when Lucca and I celebrate her birthday, we will be celebrating yours too, just quietly and without fanfare.
Abel, thank you for proving that ginger-haired big serious babies are truly the biggest, most serious, BEST babies of all.
Shiloh, bless you for showing the rest of us that we should just own who we are, even when the gossip magazines insist that it’s weird to dress like a tomboy or collect taxidermy.
Thank you to both of you for making my day a little brighter every time your squee-worthy faces came across my laptop screen. But I truly hope to see them less in the future, as the #NoKidsPolicy spreads and the demand for photos of celeb children goes down. Because as cute and sweet and funny and great as I think you are, the less I know of you, the more likely it is that you’re off having a kick ass childhood that is truly none of my or anyone else’s business.
With love and respect,
Editor In Chief, The Frisky
P.S. To clarify our commitment to the #NoKidsPolicy: We will no longer be posting photos of celebrity children, except those shared by their parents on their social media accounts, in magazines as part of an agreed-upon photoshoot, on the red carpet or at sports games. This policy does not apply to teenagers and child stars like, for example, Honey Boo Boo or Willow Smith.