11 Things We Need In Vending Machines More Than Cupcakes

What hath you wrought, cupcake craze? Manhattan has finally gotten its very own Sprinkles Cupcake ATM. Yes, an actual ATM that dispenses cupcakes. While I haven’t tried it yet, I did encounter a Benefit makeup vending machine at the Austin airport last weekend that totally rocked my world and prompted me to spend way more on blush than normally ever would.  From makeup to pizza to champagne, it seems like lately everything can be dispensed from a cutesy machine. But why can’t the things we actually need be sold that way?

May I humbly suggest these 10 ten things are needed in vending machines stat a whole lot more than cupcakes:

  1. Bobby pins
  2. Freshly charged phone batteries
  3. Sports bras
  4. Just enough nail polish in the perfect shade to touch up a chip
  5. Tampons
  6. Band-Aids
  7. Umbrellas
  8. Replacement tights and nylons for when yours rip in the middle of the day
  9. Lip balm
  10. Thread and replacement buttons that perfectly match the one that just fell off your jacket
  11. Condoms. Cough cough, just saying ….