Oh, boyfriends. While they might always have our best interests at heart, sometimes their adorable efforts to please miss the mark in an epic fashion. Of course we appreciate all the little things they do for us, but when those “favors” include things like putting our favorite dark wash jeans in the dryer or whipping us up a surprise meal that blows our calorie allowance for the month, well, it doesn’t really feel like a favor anymore. Are their happy, “Look what I did for you!” faces totally worth it? Yes, but that doesn’t mean we don’t miss the perfect fit of those jeans. Here are a few examples of kind gestures from boyfriends that, for a variety of reasons, failed to impress.
1. When he put tons of extra salt and butter in your eggs because he wanted them to be “flavorful” and you were like, there’s probably 60 grams of saturated fat in my breakfast and now I am going to have a heart attack.
2. When you asked for something comfy to wear to run to the drug store and he gave you his size XL grey sweatpants that barely stayed up when you walked.
3. When you said you were feeling blah and he showed you his balls, like they’re some kind of a treat, but you were really like, ”EWWW, not balls, not right now!”
4. When he threw a fit when you put your bra on because bras are dumb and everyone should be able to see your nipples because they’re so beautiful.
5. When he offered to hang up your clothes but put your delicate cashmere cardigan on a wire hanger (*shudder*).
6. When he continued to aggressively rub the vibrator on your clit after you had an orgasm. Ouch!
7. When he surprised you by doing the dishes, but left little chunks of food on everything so they had to be washed again.
8. When he put your favorite dark wash denim jeans in the dryer and you were like, thank you for doing the laundry but NOOOOOOOOOO!
9. When he gifted you with something sexy in a size XS.
10. When he had a little too much fun washing your hair in the shower, swirling it around and twisting it up so it became a giant rat nest for two days.
11. When he ran his fingers through your curly hair without any awareness of how frizzy he was making it.
12. When he tried to give you a compliment by comparing you favorably to an ex girlfriend, but you were really like, “Dude, stop bringing her up!”
13. When at the end of an awful, tiring day, he tried to throw you down on the bed because in his mind, sex cures everything! Only problem? After being yelled at by your boss and barfed on by a homeless guy on the bus, sex was the absolute last thing on your mind.
14. When he valiantly offered to watch one of our favorite guilty pleasure reality shows with you, and then sighed and made fun of it the entire time.
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