It Takes A Douche To Know A Douche: John Mayer Explains Juan Pablo

  • John Mayer revealed on Instagram that he owns a book which explains people’s facial expressions to ascertain their feelings. And John has helpfully referred to this “super dense esoterica” to share his thoughts about Juan Pablo with us: “The Bachelor”‘s YouTube-video-loving jerk demonstrates “contempt with some disgust, with a sadness brow.” Interesting.  [US Weekly]
  • The list of celebrities that Seth Rogen has gotten high with might surprise you. [Gawker]
  • Dating tips from “Princeton Mom”: Netflix and Seamless are making you single and fat. [And happy, thanks. — Amelia] [New York Post]
  • Somehow, “butt selfie queen” Jen Selter has made it into Vanity Fair. [Vanity Fair]
  • FX has finally set a premiere date for “Louie”: Monday, May 5th, everyone. [Flavorwire]
  • Chelsea Clinton is “obsessed with diarrhea” … but not in the way you might think. [Business Insider]
  • Emma Watson is understandably jealous of other young actresses who got to have a childhood before becoming internationally famous. [ELLE]
  • MTV won’t air Lily Allen’s music video for “Our Time” during daytime hours because she drinks from a flask in it. Um, the bigger news here is that MTV airs music videos. [Nerve]
  • Ronan Farrow might be a pretty face to look at (and, oh, what a pretty face it is) but no one is watching his new MSNBC talk show. [Variety]
  • Jessica Simpson has taken time out of constantly plugging herself and her Weight Watchers contract to plug how she and fiance Eric Johnson are still getting married, but not in Italy anymore. [US Weekly]

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[Images via Instagram and Getty]