“Princeton Mom” Appears On “Today,” Offers A Wide Variety Of Archaic Bullshit Advice For Women

Susan Patton gained attention and the moniker “Princeton Mom” nearly a year ago, when the Daily Princetonian published a letter to the editor from the Class of ’77 grad called, “Advice For The Young Women Of Princeton: The Daughters I Never Had,” in which she advised Princeton’s female population to focus on finding a husband during their college years so they wouldn’t end up having to marry some dude who went to a, bleh, state school. Even Princeton women have a shelf life, you see. Well, Patton’s unsolicited advice scored her a book deal of course, which she promoted this morning on “The Today Show” and Savannah Guthrie was quick to go after Patton’s suggestion that college women should devote a whopping 75 percent of their time to man-hunting and only 25 percent towards professional development. “Doesn’t that seem a bit out of whack?” Guthrie asked.

HA, stupid Savannah, not when your eggs are rotting away inside of you! “Work will wait. Your fertility won’t,” said Patton. Yes, it’s not enough that this society has post-grad women all in a tizzy about their fertility — Patton thinks college fucking freshman should be focused on finding someone to put a bun in their oven. This woman is literally advising all young women, including those paying top dollar for an Ivy League education, to prioritize getting their MRS. degree over anything else so they don’t end up barren and alone. HOW. FUCK.

Guthrie prodded Patton to elaborate on some other controversial suggestions in Marry Smart, like, for example, that “if you require major bodywork, get it done in high school.” Because you’ll never get an MRS. degree at Princeton if your nose looks like that, ugly. Patton, of course, sidestepped how crazy it is to suggest that high school girls get plastic surgery by making it about how she’s just concerned about self-esteeeeeeem. “If you enter your college years not in your best form, not feeling as good as you can feel about yourself, you’ll hamper your own chances for personal happiness as well as professional success.”

Patton also addressed her book’s stance on date rape, which, according to a recent interview, she doesn’t think exists. “I think date rape is a fallacy,” she told Metro. “I really object to the concept of the words ‘date rape’ … To refer to sex that a woman really didn’t feel like having but wound up having anyway because she didn’t know how to leave or regrets it – that’s not rape of any sort. That’s sex you wish you didn’t have. That’s mistake sex.”

In her interview with Guthrie, she’s less dubious about the existence of date rape and more insistent that it’s up to women not to get raped. “It’s all on them to not put themselves in a position where they are vulnerable to being abused or mistreated by a man,” she said. “It’s dangerous to say to women that you can count on men to act responsibly.” Hear that guys? Susan Patton has given up on your ability to have any basic sense of right and wrong! You’re off the hook! Do what you want, because Susan Patton and people like her think you’re incapable of human decency and self control, because that is a woman’s job!

I’m not usually in favor of book burning, but I am seriously jonesing for a Marry Smart bonfire. Who’s in? [via Jezebel]