A sex new app called Lick This allows users to engage in interactive exercises that supposedly train your tongue for pleasure. I know what you’re thinking: Great idea, but how is that possible without actually licking my iPhone screen? Answer: it’s not. You are meant to flick a light switch, move a zipper up and down, solve a maze, crank a handle and ring a doorbell with your tongue ON YOUR GERM-INFESTED SCREEN. And then you want to put that dirty mouth in some unlucky person’s pants? I think not. Although the app’s creators suggest that you wrap your phone in plastic before you get down to business, we know that people are about as likely to do that as they are to use a dental dam.
I would never discourage enthusiasm for oral sex proficiency. In fact, I admire the person who takes time out of their day to get their tongue in tip-top shape for such things. However, for sanitary reasons, I cannot approve of engaging in oral gymnastics with a cell phone screen because that is DISGUSTING. Maybe just practice on a willing human? I’m sure it won’t be hard to find one. [Daily Mail UK]