Missed last night’s Academy Awards? No worries, I’ve got you covered. Here are the very best moments from the Oscars, including Lupita Nyong’o's intense moment with Liza Minnelli, that much-tweeted selfie, and John Travolta’s amazing inability to pronounce a Broadway star’s name.
1. When Jennifer Lawrence fell on the red carpet, only a few minutes after arriving. Never change, J. Law!
2. When John Stamos creeped on J. Law and Lupita Nyong’o. Have mercy!
3. When we realized Jennifer Lawrence brought Nicholas Hoult as her date!
4. When Jared Leto — sans man bun, sadly — won Best Supporting Actor for his role in “Dallas Buyers Club” and was really adorable in thanking his mom and brother.
5. When Pharrell Williams performed “Happy” and danced with Lupita Nyong’o…
6. …and Meryl Streep…
7. …and Amy Adams!
8. When Ellen asked basically every A-lister to pose for a selfie. And then posted it to Twitter, where it quickly smashed the record for most retweeted tweet ever.
9. When we saw Kevin Spacey’s face in the aforementioned selfie and it was perfection.
9. When we noticed poor Liza Minnelli wasn’t tall enough to make the cut. :(
10. When Lupita Nyong’o won Best Supporting Actress for her role in “12 Years A Slave,” and everyone was overjoyed for her…
11. Especially Liza Minnelli.
12. When Lupita Nyong’o gave the best acceptance speech of the night, telling the crowd, “No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.”
13. And then backstage, she and Jennifer Lawrence pretended to fight over the trophy, solidifying our desire for these two to be BFFs.
14. When Joseph Gordon Levitt and Emma Watson presented together and it was clear they should be dating. And hopefully they agree…
15. When Ellen offered to order pizza and then ACTUALLY DID order pizza.
16. When Ellen made people like Kevin Spacey pay for it.
16. And Brad Pitt CHOWED DOWN.
17. When Brad Pitt kissed Angelina Jolie on the forehead and the world collectively AWWWed.
18. When John Travolta, who just had ONE DAMN JOB TO DO, introduced Idina Menzel as “Adele Dazim” and I spent three full fucking minutes Googling “Adele Dazim,” saying to myself, “But that looks like Idina Menzel.”
19. When John Ridley won Best Adapted Screenplay for “12 Years A Slave” and the film’s director threw mad shade by barely clapping for him. (There’s supposedly beef between them over screenplay credit.)
20. When Matthew McConaughey won Best Actor over Leonardo DiCaprio and Leo held his tears inside…
21. …while Matthew kissed his wife Camilla Alves like this and got me pregnant with their cuteness. Just look at them backstage:
22. When Matthew’s speech basically was about comparing himself to God and, like, thanking himself for being the greatest and it was some bizarro universe Rust Cohle shit.
23. When, THANK GOD, “12 Years A Slave” won Best Picture and director Steve McQueen was so excited he jumped up and down.