There are Valentine’s Day enthusiasts and there are the rest of us — a bunch of people on a mission to ignore the most pointless holiday of the year. If you find yourself dodging drugstores so as to avoid being inundated with Russell Stover chocolates and cheaply made teddy bears selling for way more than they’re worth (who can blame you?), you are probably one of the latter. May I suggest that you consider a last-minute jaunt to Georgia where you won’t have to wittiness any of that consumerism fuckery.
According to the Oconee County County Sheriff’s Office’s Facebook page, Valentine’s Day will be cancelled this year due to inclement weather. In a status update on February 12th, the Sheriff’s Office announced that men in the “NO VALENTINE’S DAY ZONE” were exempt from buying gifts: