For All Of Your Gutter Cleaning Needs, I Probably Wouldn’t Call LaborPanes

I love a good pun. In fact, just last night I was watching “Modern Family,” and smiled the widest of smiles when Cam had to choose between his two favorite flower shops, Floral And Hardy and Florist Gump. (Fun Fact: They’re both actual florists.) Cute, right?

Then I signed on Facebook this morning, only to see that a friend of mine, who lives in South Carolina, posted this photo of a truck she saw advertising a business called LaborPanes. No, LaborPanes is not a company of mobile midwives or OB-GYNs. According to the truck, LaborPanes specializes in window cleaning, pressure washing, dryer vent cleaning and gutter cleaning and repair.

Here are my thoughts (in no particular order) about this business name…

1. There’s no way any women who have been through childbirth—or women, in general— work at LaborPanes.

2. I am oddly disturbed by the fact that LaborPanes performs gutter cleanings and pressure washing.

3. Their tagline is “The Sparkle, The Sheen, That’s LaborPanes Clean,” which means they have not seen a birth, ever.

4. I can’t tell if this is a genius name because they tend to your LaborPanes, or a terrible idea because I would never want to invite LaborPanes to my house.

5. I wish men had vaginas.

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