My “Perfect” Marriage Date Is Apparently In 11 Months And 29 Days

Save the date! According to a new app from TIME, my ideal marriage date is in 11 months and 29 days, which means that unless I want to be a sad, single, lonely forever alone (I might, actually), I’d better find someone to marry on or around February 10, 2015. TIME arrived at this number by analyzing the median age of my married friends on Facebook to “theoretically identify whether you have passed the point where many of your contemporaries start tying the knot.” 

The thing is, I don’t understand how this translates to my “perfect” marriage date. Really, this is just my “most likely marriage date” based on when a relatively small group (53) of married friends tied the knot — but since when is being totally average “perfect”? Is there an app that tells me the perfect date to get divorced? What about one that determines the ideal date to jump off a bridge? Gimme a break. Basically, I think this stupid app is junk and releasing it just before Valentine’s Day is designed to make single folks feel even more panicked about finding “the one.” Well, it’s not gonna work on me! I’m making other plans for February 10, 2015. Suck it, TIME. [TIME]