Sometimes every woman wishes her man would remember more little details about her (and less little details about his fantasy football league). We’ve already shared many of the things we secretly long for our guys to commit to memory, but what if you’re a dude who’s struggling to track down all the facts, stats, and anecdotes about your beloved? How, exactly, are you supposed to figure out her favorite brand of tampons or find out what size bra she wears so you can buy her that sexy lingerie thingy? Don’t worry, fellas, there are ways to coax out the need-to-know details of her life with only minimal underwear drawer snooping required…
1. The name of her first love and major heartbreak. While snuggling in bed one night, ask her to play a game where you take turns telling each other about your firsts — first kiss, first sex, first dumping. Go first to set the tone. Feel free to make your re-tellings hilarious.
2. How she takes her coffee. Make her a suicide cup o’ joe. Load it up with cream and sugar. Make it taste absolutely awful, then ask her if she likes it. At that point, if there’s any modicum of honesty in your relationship, she’ll tell you exactly what you did wrong with her cup of java, from which you can deduce how to do it right.
3. Her lingerie sizes. While she’s in the shower, go through her underwear drawer, check the tags on her unmentionables and write them all down in your smartphone. They may seem foreign to you — a blur of numbers and letters — but the sales person helping you will understand these numbers, and your lady will surely forgive your snooping when it results in a new pair of gorgeous lace panties.
4. What her childhood obsession was. Next time you’re having dinner, confess to her that when you were 8 years old, your life goal was to write a full-length feature film performed by your He-Man figurines, with Aerosmith’s “Pump” as the soundtrack (or whatever your specific brand of kid crazy was) and then just wait for her response.
5. Her food likes and dislikes and peccadilloes. Tell her that you’re going to cook for her, but the only caveat is that she’ll have to plan three, three-course menu options and you get to pick one of them. Take note of what she includes (and doesn’t include) on her menus.
6. Her preferred engagement ring style. The next time one of your friends gets engaged, tell your girlfriend how hideous you thought the engagement ring was (even if you didn’t) and then let her have at it about her various opinions about engagement rings. Oh, she’ll have them.
7. What she really wants for her birthday or Christmas that she hasn’t dropped numerous hints about. Obviously, if she’s dropping hints about how badly she needs a new wallet, your only job is to listen. But if she plays her wish lists closer to her chest, you’ll need support. If you don’t already have one, you’re going to need to get an in with her best friend or closest sibling. That’s the only way.
8. Her tampon brand. Next time she gets her period, offer to go out and get her supplies. Ask her to write down what she wants and then you’ll have her preferred tampon brands forever in ink, you wonderful, evil genius.
9. Her preferred home decor style. Make up some excuse to swing by CB2 or IKEA and while you’re there, initiate a round of Decorate My Dream Room.
10. Her favorite book of all time. Take all the leg work out of it and suggest that as an experiment, you read each other’s favorite book and discuss your thoughts.
11. Her “I just had the worst day” protocol. One of the most valuable pieces of information anyone can have about their partner is how to cheer them up when they’re sad or have just had the crappiest day. The next time your lady comes home with a personal rain cloud over her head, say, “Tell me exactly what you need right now.” Even if you can’t grant her crappy day wishes right then, you’ll know the plan for next time. (Hint: red wine and “Sixteen Candles” is a surefire combo.)
12. The song that puts her in the mood. Tell her that you’ve always fantasized about having a partner make a “sex playlist” then let her do the dirty work.
13. Her favorite scent. Next time you’re at the mall, pop into a candle store. Take note of which aromas she goes crazy for, because most women have favorite scents they always reach for (vanilla, fruits, spice, musk, etc).
14. The first concert she went to. Next time you’re putting your laundry away, pull out your worn out, hole-infested Pixies tee from the Doolittle tour and ask her what concert tee relics she has in her drawers.
15. Her dream vacation destination. Buy a slew of PowerBall tickets when the pot is absurdly high and ask her to make a list of the places she wants to visit if you guys hit it big.
16. Her preferred arguing style and love language. There’s no quick fix for this one, buddy. Discovering how your woman likes to argue and what makes her feel loved is an ongoing process of trial and error. But knowing the things that are most important to her is a good start.
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