Valentine’s Day Gift From Hell: Period Blood And Pubic Hair Chocolates
In Japan, the women don’t mess around on Valentine’s Day. They give handmade chocolates known honmei choco, or true feelings chocolate, to the boy they want to be their Valentine. How artisan. But not so sanitary considering that some girls to add secret ingredients to their confections: period blood, spit or pubic hair. A “spell” trending on Twitter suggests that this year, girls “mix [their] blood” or other DNA-rich ingredients “into the Valentine’s Day chocolates” to ensure that their “love will be returned.” OH YUMMY. Japan Crush did us the great favor of translating some of the honmei choco “spell” tweets. After the jump, some baking confessions that just might put you off chocolate forever.
From a menstrual blood and pubic hair enthusiast:
“If you want to put something of your own into honmei choco for Valentine’s day, I think that it’s actually best not to put hair, or pubic hair, or blood that you’ve got through the normal way, but rather to put those chunks of liver things that you get when you’re on your period!!! I mean, menstrual blood is the lining of your uterus, so doesn’t it excite you to think of him putting that in his mouth? What’s more, because it’s hard, he’ll never find out! Magnificent!”
“If I get my period on Valentine’s day, then I can put my secret ingredient in.”
“This year too, I’m praying that I can succeed in love, and the time has drawn near when there will be lots of boys around who will eat my scary hand-made chocolates — that I’ve made by mixing in my own blood and spit — without even knowing it”
“Were there ever any girls who didn’t put their own menstrual blood in the Valentine’s chocolate?”
From a scared boy:
“I saw a tweet that said, if you’re putting something in handmade chocolate, then I recommend blood. Because at least blood has some umami. And now the heart palpitations won’t stop.”
Can you blame him?