Behold: A $155K Yellow Gold King Cobra C**k Ring For The Luxury Loving Trouser Snake

Perhaps the most terrifying thing I can imagine, sexually speaking, is disrobing a man only to discover a solid gold king cobra-clad penis staring back at me. Or even worse:  the thought of that blinged out trouser snake slithering toward my vagina. And that’s not even taking into consideration the size of the ego of the man who chooses this particular piece of penis jewelry. Well, some women’s worst nightmare will be coming true because recently launched sex toy retailer, AHANoir, is selling this luxury “gentleman’s ring” as they call it, in yellow gold (pictured above), platinum, for the man who’s looking for something a little more expensive to adorn his cockpiece or sterling silver, for the man who is obviously, a wannabe. The product description reads:

“Temptation strikes in an oval shaped, ergonomically bent, precious metal gentleman’s ring crafted in the image of real cobra. Its looks aside, the King JCobra offers great sexual health benefits, whether worn throughout the day or during intimacy, applying just the right amount of pressure on the perineum for a harder erection and stronger ejaculation.”

I would like to know what man wears this throughout the day. Actually, no, I don’t. [Nerve]