Taking It Off: A Semi-NSFW Guide For Men On How To Dress And Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal (In GIFs)

Taking It Off: A Semi-NSFW Guide For Men On How To Dress And Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal (In GIFs)

Sure, getting dressed and undressed is second nature to pretty much everyone. We do it multiple times every day, why would men in particular need some sort of tutorial? Because, my friends, I recently realized that while there is no explicitly wrong way to get dressed and undressed, there is a decisively sexier way, especially before and after you get down. So, gentleman, if you want to reach peak sex appeal the next time you take off your shirt or pull on your pants, follow these rules, presented in GIFs of course. (Gotta have somethin’ for the ladies to look at…)

How To Take Off … A Pullover Shirt Or Sweater

DO: Grasp the collar and pull your head through first, then your arms.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DO: Toss that annoying sweater aside, all casual-like? You ain’t got time for sweaters. 

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

Tom Wlaschiha does this move well. Sure, it probably stretches the shirt out, but this is a guide to undressing sexy, not “undressing to maintain the structural purity of your garments.”

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

This is literally the sexiest way to take off your shirt and you can even do it while you’re running!

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DO: Alternatively, pull your shirt off by grasping the bottom hem. If you’re fond of your armpits, this is the move for you.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

How To Put On … A Pullover Shirt Or Sweatshirt

DO: Put your arms through the holes first, before pulling over your head. This is the hottest way to put on a shirt. I don’t know why. It just is.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

Head first, arms second can be sexy too. Be sure to flex!

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

How To Take Off … A Button-Up Shirt

DO: Unbutton slowly — but not too slowly! — and maintain eye contact while you’re doing it.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Pull your shirt open like Superman. Because you’re not Superman. And that’s made abundantly clear when you do this.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

How To Take Off … A Tie

DO: Yank it off sort of angrily, like the pressures of a capitalist society have been strangling you all day, but you are still down to fuck, dammit.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

How To Take Off … Pants

DO: Unzip with confidence and remain standing while you pull off the pants, one leg at a time.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Be afraid to run your hands down your legs when you pull off your pants. You have nice legs and they are soft. Touch them. Let’s see that one more time, Ryan Gosling. Yessss!

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Tear off your pants like a stripping magician who’s hiding a pesky pair of shorts underneath. Unless you are David Copperfield and underneath the shorts is a LION.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Shimmy! If you’re pants are so tights that they only peel off a centimeter at a time, you need bigger pants, not more patience from the person you’re undressing for.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Slowwwwwwly drop your pants as if you’re about to reveal what’s behind Door #1 on “The Price Is Right,” especially if that something is flaccid and you’re biting your lip trying to be sexy. 

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DO: Decide what you’re taking off first and stick to it. This guy has his jacket half off and he’s already starting on his pants? Confusion and asymmetry are not sexy.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Look so frightened. No matter what you’re packing underneath those pants, be confident.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

How To Put On … Pants

DO: Point your ass in our direction when you hike your pants up over dat tight booty. It’s the kind thing to do.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Stay seated while you pull on your pants — you’re giving us a limited view! Why are you ashamed of your butt? You should not be ashamed of your butt! No one should be ashamed of their butt!

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DO: Spend a little time fingering that low-slung waistband. (Even the words “low-slung waistband” is a panty-dropper.)

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

DON’T: Fall. Falling is funny, and funny is hot, but unless you’re going for funny hot, don’t fall.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

As for the underwear? At this point, all bets are off. Drop ‘em, stud.

Taking It Off: A Guide For Men On How To Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal

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