Silly Questions: What Would Your Personalized Pubic Hairstyle Look Like?
When I saw that today’s New York Times Style section has yet another article about the return of pubic hair, I sighed with annoyance. Must we? Again? Seriously, I do not really actually care what any of you do with your pubes. You do you, hairy or not. But there was one delightful tidbit that stuck out in the piece:
For the last six years, Alexis Steinman, 37, a costumer in Seattle, has been getting a wax of her own design, which she calls “the Alexis”: a full front and bare everywhere else. “I have been ridiculed by many waxers, but having no hair, you look like a stripper or a kid,” Ms. Steinman said. “Neither one of those things are what I’m aspiring as a woman to resemble.”
First of all, it takes a real special kind of asshole to “ridicule” a paying customer for how they want their damn pubic hair to look. Just be quiet and rip the hair out like I told you, okay? Anyway, I admire Steinmen’s decision to think outside the box when it comes to her box’s hair and was inspired to consider how a pubic hairstyle named after me might look. And I asked the rest of the The Frisky gals the same thing, using their answers to have a little stupid fun with Photoshop…
The Amelia: Neatly groomed in the shape of the “Star Trek” insignia, pleasing to both my OCD and Trekkie sides.
The Ami: “Shaved into the likeness of a dream catcher with crystals, beads and feathers woven in.”
The Winona: “As a nod to my love for country music and the south, The Winona pubic hair style is teased into a gigantic blonde bouffant and secured with copious amounts of extra-hold hairspray. Perfect for any woman who believes in the age old adage, ‘the higher the pubes, the closer to God.'”
The Jessica: “A full ’70s feminist bush, but trimmed for prim WASP-y appropriateness and decorated with a Kate Spade hair bow on special occasions.”
The Katie: “The Katie would probably be totally waxed bald on top, very professional, with slightly fuzzy underparts. It looks nice and innocent at first glance, but deep down I’m little bit rough around the edges.”
The Claire: “The Claire would be tidy but festive, as if I put on a modest outfit that was totally ‘office-appropriate’ but then bedazzled the shit out of it immediately afterward, a la Elle Woods. Whimsical and feminine, but with a subtly powerful side. It would neatly shaved into a plethora of little hearts which would be dyed pink, because pink brings the party.”