Dater X: I Was Worrying About The Wrong Thing

Officer Handsoming and I had “the talk.” Well, sort of. I knew that if I didn’t bring up our relationship status soon, my exclusivity limbo anxiety would bubble up inside of me and explode. So, I forced myself to ask.

“I have a question,” I started. “I want you to be honest. Are you seeing other people, or, rather, do you still want to see other people?”

The Oh God, This Conversation Is About To Happen look on his face told me he knew that we were about to embark on a trip to Exclusiveville.

“I’m not seeing other people, nor do I want to,” he responded, “Why? Are you?”

“No. But I’d rather ask than assume something and be wrong,” I answered.

He covered his head with a pillow and yelled, “Women! You’re all so complicated!”

I pried the pillow from his face and he confessed with a smirk, “I’m happy with you. Yes, we’re exclusive.”

Despite my better judgement to just shut the hell up and enjoy the moment, I couldn’t help but continue firing away. I just had to get every last drop of information out of him, and, quite frankly, I was on a mission to hear the word girlfriend.

“So, like, people know that I exist?” I teased.

“Yesssss, people know you exist,” he said, suddenly turning serious. “But, joking aside, there is something I need to tell you…”

Shit. He slept with someone!? Well, at least that was my first thought. What he said next was certainly not what I expected:

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you. But it’s looking like work may be transferring me in a month. If they do, which is pretty likely this point, I’d be stationed an hour-and-a-half north of here. If that’s the case, I’m definitely moving.”

He looked at me, waiting for me to react. I didn’t, so he filled the silence.

“I’m not really a long-distance kind of guy, and especially with my all-over-the-place schedule, coordinating times to see each other might be difficult,” he said, gently. “Though I will say, so far, you don’t really seem to mind, which I appreciate.”

I was so worried that Officer Handsoming was going to tell me that he wasn’t ready to commit that I didn’t even think to worry that some other obstacle might befall our fledgling relationship. Like, a move. My incessant need for answers about our future distracted me from focusing on the here and now.

I thought about how living a couple of hours away from Officer Handsoming was nothing compared to the 900 miles that stood between me and Patrick Bateman throughout our entire relationship. An hour-and-a-half is doable. Hell, I barely even consider that long-distance. To me, it’s just distance. But then again, both of us would have to want to try, and I was getting the feeling he wasn’t willing, which felt like its own kind of rejection, just not the one I was prepared for.

“Well, it’s not worth worrying about right now,” he said, clearly trying to change the subject.

And honestly, I realized he was right. There may be a breakup in our future, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I’m going to continue to see Officer Handsoming. I’m going to try to stop worrying about the “what ifs” and, instead, enjoy the new relationship I’m in. There’s nothing more attractive than a confident, happy woman. And who knows, maybe a month from now, Officer Handsoming won’t be able to pry himself away from me.

[Photo from Shutterstock]