Hanging out in a coffee shop is always a double-edged sword. On the upside, you get to eavesdrop on the conversations of other patrons. On the downside, you get to eavesdrop on the conversations of other patrons. When the people sitting next to you are engaged in an entertaining interaction like, say, a first date, it’s basically free admission to a live, awkward rom com. But if the people are discussing something boring or annoying, for example, the pros and cons of lining your fireplace with Moravian tiles, well, it’s excruciating. Below, the 10 most annoying conversations that I’ve overheard at the coffee shop…within the past hour.
1. Someone trying to convince the other person to get a coffee, while the other person insists they’re “fine, thanks.”
2. A group of college students who have just discovered Nietzsche.
3. Two women comparing results of their juice cleanse.
4. Two men comparing results of their fantasy football league.
5. A summary of the industrial history of Bucks County, Pennsylvania.
6. Someone berating one of their employees very loudly over the phone.
7. A hip youth minister trying to relate to his mentee with Nickelback references.
8. Someone discussing their airline mileage plan in detail.
9. Any conversation that includes “my personal views about Obamacare.”
10. Someone in a beret reading poetry out loud to their extremely disinterested friend.
11. A job interview, especially if the phrase, “Always Be Closing” is used, multiple times.
[Photo via Shutterstock]