Ummm … Am I On A Date Right Now?

We’ve specified dates from non-dates in the past, but according to a poll of 2,647 singles ages 18 to 59, daters are still totally confused.  A staggering 69 percent claimed to be unsure about the formal status of spending time with someone one-on-one. Unacceptable. Let’s clear this up right now! Take our simple quiz to determine whether or not this thing is considered a date…

1. Did someone ask someone out?
A) Not only did he ask me out…he called me on the phone and asked me out!
B) Does running into each other at a bar count?
C) We both kind of spontaneously suggested that we try skydiving and now, here we are, about to jump.

2. Are there other people here?
A) No, we are alone at romantic, Italian restaurant being serenaded by violins.
B) Twenty of my closest friends are with us at this Grammy party.
C) I thought it would be just us, but his female boss “came to check on him.”

3. Are we in public place?
A) We were just featured on the Jumbotron at the baseball stadium; it doesn’t get any more public than that.
B) You can’t play video games in public, silly.
C) Yes, but we seem to be the only people at this “club,” if you can call it that.

4. Did the other person obviously take a shower today?
A) I’m salivating over his cotton candy and rainbow scent.
B) He showed up in his pajama bottoms…so, I don’t think so.
C) He appears to have showered although it seems like he forgot to brush his teeth.

5. How do we know each other?
A) Our profiles met online.
B) We’re cousins.
C) We share a cubicle at work and a “Hang in there!” kitten poster.

6. Do I want to touch tongues with this person?
A) I want to touch many things with this person. In the bar bathroom. Right now.
B) Well, that depends on how many more cocktails I throw back.
C) Why do people have tongues, anyway? Isn’t kissing a weird custom? Does it have to do with evolution?

7. Are goods or services being exchanged?
A) If by “goods” you mean “charming anecdotes,” and by “services” you mean “playing footsie,” then yes.
B) We were halfway through appetizers when he brought out his tri-fold display board and asked me to invest in his new line of protein powders.
C) He definitely could use a bit of Mary Kay shine-proof powder, but that’s neither here nor there.


Mostly A’s: Congrats, girl. You are on a date and it sounds like a decent one at that. Put your phone away and enjoy yourself!

Mostly B’s: This is a non-date. If you thought otherwise, you may want to consider therapy and establishing some healthy boundaries with your cousins.

Mostly C’s: What the…? Even we don’t know whether or not you’re on a date. Please retake the quiz once you’ve “hung out” with this person again.