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7 Stupidly Nerdy Questions I Did Not Have The Courage To Ask When I Met Sir Patrick Stewart

Last night, Ami and I had the pleasure of going to see Sirs Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart in “No Man’s Land” on Broadway. The show was fantastic and funny, and I’ll tell you more about it when we give away tickets next week. After the show, I bid Ami adieu and then stood outside in the freezing cold to wait for my favorite duo to exit through the stage door.

Obviously, as a “Star Trek” obsessive, I was not going to miss my chance at meeting the man who played Captain Jean-Luc Picard on “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” I do not say this lightly: I would not be the Amelia I am today without Picard. His infinite wisdom and exemplary leadership skills inform my daily life. I mean, when I’m in a tough spot and am not sure how to handle it, I just ask myself, What would the captain of a Galaxy class starship with over a 1,000 crew members do? and I’m immediately on the right track.

Clearly, I have a hard time separating the character (Picard) from the actor (Stewart), so it took every ounce of restraint in my cold, shivering body to resist asking Sir Patrick Stewart the following questions when we finally came face to face:

1. “May I please have the honor of buying you a cup of Earl Grey, hot?”

2. “Tell me … how many lights do you see?”

3. “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra?”

4. “Can you sign my program ‘Love, Locutus of Borg’?”

5. “Have you learned to play any other songs on the Ressikan flute?”

6. “How about a game of poker? Five-card stud, nothing wild? The sky’s the limit?”

7. “Would you mind looking into the camera and saying, with conviction, ‘Shut up, Wesley!’?”

Instead, I quietly took a few photos and Sir Patrick called me “dear” and said he was headed out for “supper” and I died inside. THE END.

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