This polar vortex is making people do all kinds of things that are totally out of character. Britney Spears is sharing insightful reflections about show business. “The Bachelor” contestants are trying to turn down roses. I’ve been wearing Uggs in public. Escaped convicts are turning themselves in because they’re envious of the heat in prison.
Well, at least one escaped convict did just that: Robert Vick of Hartford, Kentucky. Vick chose the worst possible week to escape from a minimum security prison in Lexington, and after attempting to rough it outdoors for two days as temperatures plummeted, Vick finally had enough. He walked into a motel and asked the clerk to call the police and ask them to please, for the love of God, bring him back to his warm jail cell. Police were more than happy to comply with Vick’s request, and today he’s nice and toasty again, albeit behind bars and with a much longer sentence ahead of him. I might normally file this in the “dumb criminal” category, but as I sit here typing this with a knit beanie and a scarf on, my only response is: I feel you, bro, and if your cell is any warmer than my office, make room, because I’m about to come join you. [People]