This Children’s Book Illustration Is The Dirtiest Thing I’ve Seen All Week

Since I began working at The Frisky, it’s safe to say my mind has taken a permanent vacation in the gutter: I see phallic clouds, vaginal-looking sandwiches and the number 69 is everywhere. So when someone else stumbles upon something unintentionally inappropriate, I smile wide and remember that I’m not alone in this dirty, dirty world. Take for example, this children’s book illustration, which was posted to Reddit by an appalled parent.

Fittingly, the poem titled “Aunt Bea Says,” reads:

“Ouch!” I yell/ I can’t flee/ There’s no way/ to break free.

Haaaaa. Then it gets better…

Her hug’s like/ an attack/ I can feel/ my ribs crack/ And my eyes pop out like peas/ She owes me apologies!

I will let you draw your own conclusions, but I’ve created a poem of my own about this precious drawing.

It seems like Aunt Bea has really plump lips/ So you better beware — looks like she wants a kiss!/ Avoid lipstick stains; that is the goal/ But it should be easy, ’cause that’s a butthole.

Thank you. I’m here all week. [Reddit]