Shortly after Patrick and I got engaged, my mom called with a request that was so cute, I didn’t know what to say: “The ladies at church want to throw you a bridal shower.”
The “ladies” in question were women who had watched me grow up in our small-town Methodist church, with whose… More »
Big news on the colorful gummy candy/fantasy autocannibalism front! A place called FabCafe in Japan is offering a new service that uses 3D body scanners to create a realistic, life-size replica of your body–made entirely of gummy candy. Amazingly enough, the entire process costs just $65, but there are only 9 spaces available in the… More »
A mother in Indonesia confessed to murdering her son because she was concerned that his “small penis” would ruin his future prospects. The 38-year-old drowned the boy in the bathtub, dressed him, laid him on a bed, and went to the authorities to report her crime. She told police that the boy always had a… More »
I saw a little cluster of purple tulips starting to grow next to the sidewalk the other day and I almost started crying. Spring is officially on the way! Get a jump start on the season by adding a pretty floral necklace to your jewelry box. Whether you love roses, peonies, pansies, poppies, or lotuses,… More »
Alana Thompson from “Here Comes Honey Boo” is seizing upon her 700,000 to be the best damn Girl Scout ever. This will be a shipping nightmare, yet I’m relieved Honey Boo Boo does something normal like the Scouts. [New York Daily News]
January Jones says that eating her placenta helped her avoid post-partum… More »
Recently, Ami and I were talking and she asked if I could help her get her funny back. If you read this site, you know that Ami is usually a very funny person, so her question came as a bit of a shock.
“You lost your funny?” I said. “When? How? Where?”
… More »
Because no man in the history of the world has ever been able to control his rape-alicious sexual urges, a Mexican town has banned women from wearing slutty, slutty miniskirts.
And they’ve also banned crossdressing. Because, you know, gays. … More »
Feeling slightly less than dazzling this afternoon? Me too. (It’s really grey and rainy and horrible outside and my hair is frizzy; what’s your excuse?) [Um, Rachel wrote this yesterday afternoon, but I didn’t get a chance to put it up until this morning. Weather is much better today! — Amelia] I could’ve used another shot… More »
Yesterday was the best day of my life. Want to know why? Because I discovered this video mashup of Celine Dion singing “All By Myself” with a screaming goat. I’d seen the Taylor Swift goat music video that Julie posted last week, and loved it (obviously!), but goats and Celine Dion are literally my two… More »
Motivated by his extreme dislike of the center of an Oreo cookie, physicist David Neevel built a robot-like machine that separates the cookie from the creme. Neevel slaved away for .04 years on The Oreo Separator Machine (OSM), which uses scraps of wood, metal and floss to rid the chocolatey cookie halves of their creme. More »
I know we, as a culture, eat a lot of disgusting things these days — but if 1950s cookbooks are anything to go by, it was even worse then. Virtually all foods were either pickled, creamed or came in some bizarre gelatinous mold form. I guess owing to all of the technological innovations that happened… More »
There is a great parody of Taylor Swift’s “22” floating around the interwebz. Rather than finding inspiration from ex-boyfriends this song takes aim at a different set of pathetic men: the 22 Senators who did not vote “yes” on the Violence Against Women Act. The bill will come up for a vote in the… More »
Perez Hilton has a baby boy?!? The man who made his career on doodling cum drizzling out of Miley Cyrus’ mouth and posting up-skirt photos of her announced on his website he is now the father of “a beautiful and healthy baby boy.” Well, mazel tov. I hope the world is kinder to your… More »
So this is what they mean when they say “this is why we can’t have nice things”: Fashion’s Night Out is dunzo, folks, and it’s all your fault. No, I’m just kidding. Kind of. See, Americans have a way of taking a perfectly good, maybe even ingenious idea and blowing it up into a different… More »
Sommmmmmeeeeeone is wearing YOGA PANTS. I feel sexually harassed. Anyway, watch our video above to find out who is throwing their nearly nakedness in my face and what the rest of us are wearing today! … More »
One of our brave dumb reporters talked to real porn stars and did hardcore research into the world of adult film to bring you a new photo gallery exposing 10 porn mythsyou probably believe.
Diving into this topic for a photo gallery was not easy, but at least the dude who wrote it can’t… More »
Hey, check out the cast of “Oz the Great and Powerful” at the Russian premiere in Moscow! Mila Kunis looks gorgeous, and let me tell you, I am so relieved. For a second there I was concerned that Ashton had siphoned all the pretty out of her and was using it for his own black… More »
God love her, but Lena Dunham has a particular way about her. Which is why Chelsea Davison’s spot-on impersonation of Dunham auditioning for the movie “Zero Dark Thirty” is so hilarious. “You know,” says Davidson’s Dunham, “if I actually have to waterboard you, that is really going to scar me, like, emotionally.” [YouTube] … More »