UPDATE: J/K! As commenters have kindly informed us, this is actually from a Canadian humor site. Should have known. Stories like this only happen in Florida. — Amelia
Tracy Walters of Dayton, Ohio, was one of the 42 percent of women disappointed by the Christmas gift her husband gave her this year. Instead of finding a tactful way to exchange her crock pot and cheap lingerie, the 34-year-old raged out and set her husband Dave’s 2013 Chevy Silverado Crew Cab on fire.
Police arrived on the scene to find Waters throwing her husband’s clothing on the flames to fuel the fire.
“He gave me a slow-cooker and these red nylon crotchless panties with a push-up bra. The bra had tassels for fuck sake. Tassels!” she screamed.
Meanwhile, a confused Dave Waters, sporting a black eye that Tracy had given him, didn’t understand how his gifts had upset his wife so much.
“Good food, good lovin’ and a good truck were all I wanted for Christmas. Now the truck’s gone, the wife’s gone, and she even broke the crock pot,” the 37-year-warehouse worker told a local newspaper.
That sounds like the makings of a country song to me.
Tracy Waters has been charged with arson, assault with a weapon (the crock pot) and using foul language in public. And Dave is in desperate need of holiday gift rehabilitation. Tassels are for show girls, Dave. Let’s hope he gets the help he needs before next Christmas. [Busted Locals]