2013: The Year In Goats!
Even if you’re not an obsessive goat lover like me, you’ve got to admit 2013 was a huuuuuge year for goats. These mischievous little bovids bounced their way into music videos, Taylor Swift songs, the Guinness Book of World Records, airport maintenance programs, bars, and even Jose Canseco’s trunk. For posterity’s sake, here’s a compendium of all the top goat stories of the year:
In February, the goat world (and the regular world) was rocked by this amazing, slightly disturbing video of goats yelling like humans, which led to……Taylor Swift getting goated, AKA having her voice replaced with a screaming goat in the chorus of “I Knew You Were Trouble,” which led to…
…the screaming goat music video trend sweeping the nation. Everyone from Jay-Z to Celine Dion to Katy Perry got goated, and it was a glorious time in the history of our country.Then some humans yelled like goats yelling like humans and the goat-yelling circle of life was complete: In non-musical goat news, Chicago O’Hare decided to throw out their lawn mowers and hired a herd of goats to trim the grass instead. Terrible layovers got a million times more adorable.
I had to go to therapy to deal with my jealousy issues when this woman lived out my life dream of being buried in a pile of soft, cuddly baby goats. Sigh.
Goats made their mark in the Guinness Book Of World Records in September, when Happie, a goat from Florida, set the world record for Farthest Distance Skateboarded By A Goat. It’s unclear if she had much (or any) competition:Someone stole a goat and took it to a bar at 1 a.m. — but honestly, who hasn’t?
Speaking of goats and bars, this guy got arrested for making jokes about having sex with goats at a Wisconsin tavern. Hopefully he’ll have a better shtick when he gets out of jail.
Beeeeep! These week-old baby goats reminded us that jumping is an important skill that must be practiced with dedication and patience. So inspiring:
And the end of the year brought us perhaps the greatest goat story of all time: Jose Canseco was pulled over in Nevada with a car full diaper-wearing goats. He even posted photographic proof on Instagram:
Well, 2013, farewell and thanks for all the goatiness (trust me, it’s a word). Can’t wait to see what 2014 will bring!