You think you love Christmas? Check your elf hat at the door. Your excitement is only a fraction of what cats across the world are feeling. This year, I’ve been lucky enough to watch two kittens experiencing Christmas for the first time and I’m a little jealous of all the fun they’re having. Here are five reasons cats are seriously stoked about Christmas…
1. Christmas Tree: Fuck the scratching post and the cat tree you splurged on, they have nothing on the six-foot Douglas fir covered in glass toys standing in the living room.
2. The Present Fort: Below this enchanting tree sits an obstacle course of perfectly wrapped (for now…) presents! A magical box city provides hours of climbing, burrowing, rummaging, and pouncing. Now the cat is protectively guarding every gift.
3. Ribbons: So much ribbon! So many colors, shapes, sizes, and textures! This year almost every gift contains spirals of plastic curls. That means there are hours of tangling and shredding ahead. Meeeee-ow!
4. Mounds Of Paper: Christmas morning means piles of crinkly paper cover the living room floor. With every pounce, joyous crumpling sounds erupt.
5. Generous Suckers: Kittens can totally tell which Christmas dinner attendees will share scraps. There is a seemingly endless supply of human food as they go back for seconds and thirds. Suckers!