I mean, of all people to swoop in and declare war on homophobic (and racist!) “Duck Dynasty” patriarch Phil Robertson, Charlie Sheen?! The actor has his own lengthy and problematic history of saying foul shit — including anti-Semitic remarks about former boss Chuck Lorre — but apparently Charlie has been hiding a mess of gay friends and now he’s sticking up for them. In a series tweets, Sheen wrote:
“Hey Mallard brained Phil Robertson! you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine, who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do. well news flash shower-dodger, I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them. so, just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off, you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media beat down. (I’ll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you.) Your statements were and are abhorrently and mendaciously unforgivable. The idea that you have a job outside of dirt-clod stacking is a miracle. the only ‘Dynasty’ you are attached to might be the re-runs of that dated show….
The only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head. Perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the army of scabies and bull weevils sequestered deep in it’s sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts. shame on you. you’re the only surviving brain donor I’ve ever known.”
There’s more, but you get the point. Charlie Sheen has zero credibility with me, given his own ongoing shitty behavior, but whatever, I laughed at this angry screed. Besides, when two morons like Charlie Sheen and Phil Robertson are busy being at each other’s throats, I’m pretty sure the world wins. [Twitter via E! Online]