The “Elf” Yourself Christmas Checklist For Holiday Cheer Revival
Let’s be honest: Sometimes getting into the holiday spirit is no easy feat. But if there’s one person who knows how to bring out the best in us, it’s Buddy the Elf.
So do everyone a favor and give yourself the Elf treatment this December. By performing just a few simple tasks, you can kiss your inner cottonheaded ninnimuggins goodbye and spread some Christmas cheer, ya heard?
Simply complete this “Elf Yourself” checklist and you’re on your way to obnoxious merriment…
1. Make your elevator ride a festive one by pressing all of the floor numbers required to create a Christmas tree shape out of the panel. Bystanders may look mad, but I assure you they will be entertained.
2. Why have eggs for breakfast when you can have candy? Or hell, even spaghetti. ‘Tis the season to do something that makes you happy. If you want Chocolate Peppermint Oreo Popcorn for breakfast, you eat it dammit!
3. Get excited about Santa, because HE’S SANTA. Next time you’re at the mall, have your photo taken with Saint Nick and send it out as this year’s Christmas card. No one will expect it, and you will become instantaneously cooler.
4. Next time it snows, invite your pals over for an epic snowball fight. Create team names like “The Make It Rain-deer” and “Santa’s Big Sack” and go to town. Afterward, wash down your victory with hot chocolate or a swig of maple syrup.
5. Take a trip to New York City, where you can check out the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, Macy’s holiday windows and drunken Santas in subway stations.
6. Go balls out with your Christmas decorations. I’m talkin’ paper snowflakes, whittling toys out of furniture and live nativity scenes. You’ll feel jolly and accomplished, and it’ll keep you in the spirit for a while.
7. Do something new that looks like a LOT of fun. Want to run around a turnstyle door until your legs go limp? Do it. Wondering what it would be like to sing impromptu carols on street corners? Try it. Sing “Santa Baby” to your mailman. I dare you.
8. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. (See: #7.)
9. Smiling makes other people smile. Sometimes it’s because you look like an idiot, and other times because it’s just plain friendly. So make it a point to beam like you’re in a Christmas pageant, and your day will be much merrier.
10. Make up your own Elf name, like Tootsie Sweetbuns, and answer your phone with that name, followed by a random question to catch people off guard. “Hello! Tootsie Sugarbuns here, what’s your favorite kind of cookie?”
11. Embrace the season. It only comes around once a year.