20 “Heidi & Spencer: After Shock” Revelations

Christmas has come early! Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are BACK, but a seemingly more humbled version of their once-egomaniacal selves. Last night, E! aired the special, “Heidi & Spencer: After Shock” (trailer above), which tells the Speidi story in the couple’s own words, including where they’ve been since they fell off the radar a couple years ago. In short, the producers of “The Hills,” which made the couple famous, convinced them to act like total dickweeds, then the fame went to their heads, they spent all of their money, tried everything to get it back, and have now realized none of it was worth it. Away from the limelight, they have realized what’s important — and that is setting the record straight by doing a special on E! and trying to improve their public image so Spencer will give Heidi a baby. 

1. Spencer is studying political science at USC and is taking a Spanish class. His accent is pretty terrible.

2. Spencer gained weight eating three slices of pie a day with whipped cream and ice cream. He is trying to lose weight with a MMA trainer but he still really, really loves pie. Like, won’t stop talking about it.

3. Heidi is still friends with Jen Bunney! In fact, Bunney may be her only friend.

4. Heidi says “The Hills” producers wanted her to portray a character — the best friend who turns on Lauren. She says she should have known that she was going to be turned into the villain.

5. The couple’s breakups on “The Hills” were all made up for the show. “They didn’t force us. We made bad decisions, but bad decisions that pay a lot,” says Spencer.

6. Heidi regrets bringing her family onto the show to direct negativity at Spencer. Heidi says her mom never really disliked Spencer the way it was portrayed.

7. The “Hills” wedding didn’t “feel real” and the producers tried to get Spencer to leave Heidi at the altar. “They said, ‘You’re going to leave Heidi at the alter and Lauren is going to take her home,'” says Heidi. They both refused to go along with the storyline the producers wanted.

8. Heidi wears fannypacks and sequin pink Uggs now. Like, Heidi’s innate fashion sense (i.e. without a stylist or wardrobe) is quite … hot suburban mom.

9. Heidi says her plastic surgeon — who originally did her first nose job and boob job — convinced her to do 10 surgical procedures in one day in November 2009. “I didn’t realize how traumatizing it would be,” says Heidi. “That was my low point.” She claims she was not “forewarned” about the recovery. Spencer says, “no disrespect to Dr. Frank Ryan” but the surgeon got caught up in the attention and used Heidi. Dr. Ryan famously died in a car wreck shortly after doing Heidi’s 10 surgeries.

10. Speidi made the Mr. Bones pumpkin patch in Hollywood HAPPEN. They were the first to be seen there, dammit, and now everyone goes for a photo op.

11. Heidi really, really wants to have Spencer’s babies, but Spencer says, “I wouldn’t want to be Spencer Pratt’s kids” and won’t even discuss the possibility until their public image has been rehabilitated.

12. Heidi is really, really into God again. God is her life and she and Spencer say grace every day!

13. Spencer became a gun nut because of the death threats he used to receive and felt like he couldn’t depend on a hockey stick by his bed to defend him.

14. Heidi and Spencer went on “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” and told producers they were going to leave immediately. Their breakdown on the show was actually seemingly legit. Those two could not handle being without their hair products.

15. They, duh, made up their divorce in hopes that they’d get a spinoff show about getting back together.

16. Spencer would do another “Big Brother” because you get free food.

17. Spencer thought he was in “control” of his fame, but he was a “puppet,” a “cog in the wheel.”

18. Spencer calls Heidi’s album his “very expensive playlist made by my lovely wife.”

19. Heidi wants to open up a lingerie boutique. Spencer wants to call it “Heidi’s Secret.”

20. They should have “10 million plus in the bank, but we don’t.”