There’s no good reason to cheat on your significant other and we promise we are not condoning it by any means, but some reasons for stepping out on a relationship are more, let’s say, justifiable than others — like, if he was cheating on you…with a goat. According to a new, not-super-scientific survey from a dating website for extramarital affairs, many women’s motivations for cheating are completely and totally outrageous. In fact, some of the reasons women cited for straying from their partners were so banal that we felt compelled to make a quiz to see if you could guess the real ridiculous cheating excuse from the ones we made up. Test your BS cheat-o-meter after the jump!
Five of the following reasons are actual answers from the survey. The rest are made up. Can you identify the real ones?
1. He has assne (ass acne, for the uninitiated).
2. The tip of his penis is much wider than the shaft.
3. He uses dirty talk at awkward times.
4. He drinks straight out of the milk carton.
5. He steals the sheets at night.
6. He keeps a used tissue in his pocket.
7. He tells you when he’s “been looking at tits” online.
8. He only cares about his pleasure, not yours.
9. He keeps his socks on during sex.
10. He makes a wheezing noise when he cums.
11. He never stops checking his smartphone.
12. He doesn’t clip his toenails regularly.
[Photo of woman texting in bed via Shutterstock]
Real cheating excuses: 3, 5, 8, 9, and 11.