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Happy Horny Holidays: Ugly Christmas Sweaters Might Actually Get You Laid

O RLY?
Ugly Christmas Sweaters Might Actually Get You Laid

HO! HO! HO!  Elfowicz here (that’s my Christmas persona) to deliver some good news. In honor of the impending, almost holiday season, Trojan condoms conducted a poll to find out what kind of cheer co-workers were spreading at their company Christmas parties. (Yes, cheer meaning SEX.) Since yours should be happening this week or next (unless your company is cheap and they are skipping the festivities this year –those jerks!), I thought you’d like to know that wearing an ugly Christmas sweater might not exclude you from getting some sugar under the mistletoe (or in the supply closet). 

According to Trojan’s poll, six percent of Americans have gotten laid at an office holiday party while wearing an ugly sweater. This may sound like a small number, but really, that’s a veritable Christmas sweater orgy if you think about it. So, you might want to forego the formal wear in favor of some hideous, knitted number this year. And if you’re looking for a place to, ahem, take your sweater off, your best bets (according to the survey), are your place (duh), or if you like the thrill of possibly getting caught — the conference room, the mail room, the copy room or the “boss’ desk.” Not that we can endorse hooking up with your boss…or any of your co-workers for that matter. You might want to think about that. But full steam ahead with your ugly sweater.

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