Ethan Hawke Is Not So Keen On Monogamy

“My relationship with my present wife [his children’s former nanny, Ryan Shawhughes] is thrilling to me and I’m committed to it. But neither she nor I know what shape the future will come in. Sexual fidelity can’t be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. If you really love somebody you want them to grow, but you don’t get to define how that happens. They do. People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity. ‘He’s cheated so he’s bad, she’s cheated so she’s bad,’ as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous. To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey. Human beings are sexual beings.”

Ethan Hawke is as well known for all those “Before Sunrise” movies as he is for being the guy who let Uma Thurman get away. But as he broadly hints at the magazine Mr. Porter, he didn’t want to be monogamous. That doesn’t make any cheating that may have occurred okay, of course, but I commend him, actually, for being this honest about monogamy and fidelity given how harshly our culture judges nontraditional relationships. (Actress Maria Bello has some similar thoughts, which she wrote about this weekend in the New York Times Modern Love column.) It sounds like 42-year-old Hawke has a more clear-eyed view of what kind of relationship he wants with his new wife. He’s kidding himself, though, if he thinks that being “indignant” about cheating is abnormal.  Non-monogamy isn’t about cheating at all. [Mr. Porter via US Weekly] [Image via Getty]