• Sex

The Parts Of Thanksgiving Dinner & The Sex Acts They Represent

please pass the cranberry sauce, wink wink
thanksgiving dinner plate

This is The Frisky, where we’ve got sex on the brain all the time. Ordering at Sonic. Clipping our toenails. Eating Thanksgiving dinner. All the time. And it just so happens that certain dishes in a traditional Thanksgiving dinner remind of the sex acts we are grateful for all year long. Come on, you know you want to find out what cranberry sauce represents.

Turkey = Orgasm: Most most people, Thanksgiving dinner is all about the turkey. But for a lot of people — vegans and vegetarians, for instance, and people who just plain don’t like turkey — Thanksgiving dinner is perfectly fine without it.  Same, too, with an orgasm. It’s not the be-all, end-all of sex.

Mashed potatoes = Cuddling: Who doesn’t like cuddling? Nobody, that’s who.  And both mashed potatoes and cuddling are even better when you’re covered in gravy.

Candied Yams = Hair Pulling: Not everyone loves it but there’s some people for whom naughty moves like pulling hair is everything. For the rest of us, sometimes a little is just enough. Others find the whole thing offensive. So, too, with putting marshmallows on vegetables.

Stuffing = Cunnilingus: When it’s good, it’s good. And when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

Green Beans = Blowjobs: Sorry, that’s just because they are phallic-shaped.

Cranberry Sauce = Anal Sex: You’re either willing to try it or you aren’t.  And if it’s not your thing, you probably think it’s just disgusting.

Pumpkin Pie = Licking Breasts: A good old standby.

Pecan Pie = Pinching Nipples: Not as common … and why ever not?!

Any sex acts, er, Thanksgiving side dishes I forgot? Tell us in the comments!

[Image of Thanksgiving dinner plate via Shutterstock]

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