Professors Tested Fifty Shades Of Grey Library Book & Discovered It Has Herpes

By: Jessica Wakeman / November 15, 2013

Everyone makes fun of me at the office for being a germophobe. But read this story and tell me I’m wrong: professors in Belgium ran toxicology and bacteriology tests on library books and found that Fifty Shades Of Grey had the herpes virus. Oh, yes. The two profs checked out the 10 most borrowed books in the Antwerp library to test them for germs and drugs. Not only did the E..L. James BDSM erotica have traces of herpes, but they also found traces of cocaine on every single other book. Relax, though: you won’t get a contact high or a persistent vaginal itch from any of these books because the concentrations of both were so minimal. (Just to be safe, Belgians, you could always wear condoms on your hands while reading!) Let’s talk about the appropriate way to use library books, people. Tip #1: DON’T GIVE YOUR LIBRARY BOOKS STDS.  [TIME]